Saturday, January 08, 2005

The Bump or was that Blump

Just got back from Vegas. While strolling the better part of Vegas (downtown), happened to stroll into The Plaza. Now, for those of you not fortunate to take a pass through this fine Casino/Hotel, think Love Boat meets bad 80's Vegas plus a dash of psychadelic carpet. As we were patroling the casino floor, we were overwhelmed by the toxic combo smell of puke/lysol/underarm b.o...........Mmmmmmm, fresh. The crowd was top notch too. A mix of bluehairs, Asians and white trash fresh from their double wides. Anyway, while my buddy was enthralled with the Korean Elvis impersonater, I was inexplicably drawn to dude with greasy comb over, half shaved head that exposed a tennis ball sized lump protruding from the side of his dome. Unable to look away, I tapped my buddy on the shoulder and screamed "Babe! It's a Blumpkin!". I would later learn the true meaning of blumpkin (like Christmas, so special), but at the time it seemed the most appropriate word to describe this thing, this bump pressing on the outside of this dude's cranium. Jesus Christ! This Mount Everest of head lumps was large, shiny and glowing underneath the hue of casino lighting. It looked like the thing could burst at any minute spraying us with a shower of meat, blood and whatever else may have been engorged in the middle of that tumor. After staring for what seemed like several minutes we made our way the bar to enjoy 99 cent shrimp cocktails and watered down, low grade well liqour. Just thought you wanted to know...........................

Friday, January 07, 2005

Here I am, fresh off the boat and conducting the red nose express! Posted by Hello