Sunday, November 01, 2009


I think coins get a bad rap. Yes they jingle around in your pocket, sure they get stuck in every crevice of your car, and true they aren't worth all that much. But in defense of coins they round out a cash transaction without requiring more change, they work great on vending machines; ever run across a vending machine that does not accept bills (you'll wish you had change then), and they are great for saving. Get a jar, start throwing in your coins and in no time you'll have enough for a candy bar or soda (or both). So it got me to thinking of what are the top five coins.........


Ah the quarter, the "King of Coins". Four quarters equals a dollar. You can stack 'em, you can toss 'em, and don't forget; they are the namesake and essential playing piece of many a beer drinking game. They sound good in your hand, in your coin jar, and in your pocket. They also score high in the nostalgia department. If you are close to my age your first encounter with quarters was either getting a shiny quarter from the Tooth Fairy or getting paid a quarter or two to do your first chores as a kid. Plus the quarter appears in one of my favorite sayings; "No quarter was asked or given". Football games are divided into four quarters (sweet!). The acknowledged center of fun and debauchery is the French Quarter in New Orleans. All in all many a reason to put the quarter in the #1 slot. Even today the quarter still feels like it has some value. Sure twenty-five cents won't really get you much but as they say perception is reality. Quarter - way to go!


There are some among us who would like to get rid of the penny. To those of you I say: Suck It! Give me my pennies! There is still a place in this world for the humble penny. Have you ever tried to make correct change without pennies? Can't do it! Here's another think about pennies, in a sea of silver coins pennies provide a nice color and visual contrast. Plus, I haven't even mentioned the place the penny has is our language; "A penny for your thoughts", "Pennies from heaven", "Penny wise, pound foolish", "Penny candy", "A penny saved is a penny earned", "Put your two cents in", "Penny pincher", "In for a penny, in for a pound". Enough said. Keep the penny. Penny - keep up the good fight!


On the minus side the dime is a pretty freaking small coin. If you're like me this coin is the one you are most likely to lose or drop. On the positive side the dime prevents you from getting more nickels, which is always good. The dime also has its place in our language. There's the "dime bag". In basketball an assist is a "dime". If you "drop dime" on someone you are giving them up. To maneuver quickly you "turn on a dime". There used to be "five & dime stores". Even though the dime has a higher than average nuisance factor it still deserves its place on the list for its positive contributions. Dime - Hold fast!


I happen to like the dollar coin but I believe I am in the minority. Let's get one thing correct; that Susan B. Anthony dollar coin from the late 70's blew huge ass. It looked bad, was too close to a quarter, could not be read by vending machines, and confused the hell out of everyone. Thanks a lot US Mint. The second shot at the coin is much better. Distinctive, gold colored, and a unique size; it will never be confused with a quarter or another coin for that matter. And they have started putting Presidents on the coin and Presidents are cool. As with the other coins on the list the dollar has left its mark on sayings; "A day late and a dollar short", "Bet your bottom dollar", and "The almighty dollar" to name a few. Also the dime store has now been replaced by the dollar store (sign-o-the-times). And who doesn't like going to the beach and collecting sand dollars. Dollar coin - I salute you!

50 Cents

This coin is bullshit. Who the hell wants to carry around a fifty-cent piece. If I want fifty cents I'll be toting around two quarters by God. Nobody uses them, nobody wants them, nobody needs them. Let's do the world a favor and get rid of these pieces of junk forever. And to top it off there aren't any good fifty cent sayings. Do you ever hear "A fifty cent piece for your thoughts", "They gave no fifty-cent piece on the battlefield", or "He dropped fifty-cent piece on his buddy". This coin is useless. Fifty-cent piece - you suck!

Almost making the list: Nickel (even more useless than the fifty-cent piece)


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